Monday, September 15, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
Mortimer... BE QUIET!!!
We have had a busy day and upon climbing into bed, we realized that we had forgotten our five year old's glass of water.
We had already read her bedtime story, brushed her teeth and been to the washroom.
"Are you thirsty?" we ask.
"No. But I want my water here, in case I wake up."
We are tired and wanting some quiet time, and try to avoid the trek downstairs by promising to bring the water up after she is asleep.
She isn't going for it.... so I try some distraction.
We went to see a play at the Theatre for Young People today. It was an adaptation of some of Robert Munsch's stories, including "Mortimer." I ask D.D. what she thought of the way the grown ups were yelling at Mortimer when he sang "clang, clang, rattle bing bang, I am going to make my noise all day."
She decides they could have talked to Mortimer differently.
"Oh" I say, "What could they have said?"
"We..elllll, they could have said, 'Mortimer, please be quiet."
"Yes, they could." I say. "Or maybe his mom could have asked, 'Would you like me to cuddle with you until you fall asleep.'"
"Um -hum." says D.D. "Or his mom could eeee-ven have asked if he wanted something."
"That's true." I say smiling at her ingenious problem solving skills and empathy for Mortimer.
We share a moment of silence while I delight in my emotionally evolved daughter. Then she continues her thought, "And Mortimer'd say, 'I want my glass of water.'"
I thought my heart would burst. I certainly will be smiling about that one for a while.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Left Brain - Right Brain
Today I watched this amazing video . Yes... it is very new age-ie. (How in heck do you spell that word?)
In watching it I thought, "I am very left brainy".
I remember at a very young age the constant voice in my head telling the story of my life to me, making up games and stories, chattering away as a walked, biked, swung and read. I recognize that voice now when I hear my daughter deep in imaginative play. It is as though her left brain (and my child left brain) offered a voice to the right brain.
But at some point my left brain took over the whole show. It got a dry, sarcastic wit and sometimes my left brain says some mean things.
In fact, sometimes my left brain blathers on as though it is Ferris Bueller. It is almost as though my left brain believes its ongoing monologue is being heard and enjoyed by the masses. Perhaps my left brain is not alone in its narcissistic (see I told you it gets mean) monologuing. Perhaps monologuing left brains is how blogging got so popular.
Something that sticks out to me is that our society has an over dependence on the rational 'serial' thought processes characterized by left brain thinking. Isn't it serial thinking that brought us Ford ism, Modernism and institutionalized everything?
In her book "The Real World of Technology" Ursula Franklin labels 'one size fits all' approaches to problem solving 'prescriptive technologies.' Franklin does not indicate that prescriptive technology is inherently evil, just misapplied in situations that require reflection and involve growth.
In fact, there are two areas very near and dear to my heart that she questions the application of prescriptive technology, pregnancy/birth and education. For these are areas that Ursula (and I ) believe should be approached through 'holistic technologies'.
Yet, schools are designed to teach children in such prescriptive fashions... children are measured and tested and procedures are applied based on the results of the testing. If the procedures are not working, there are meetings with the 'education team'. I think it is worth noting that the child in question is not invited to these meetings. The meetings are a conversation between parents, teacher, social worker and principal. The education team examines the factors and prescribes a mode of 'attacking' the 'problem' presented. The whole process is focused on producing a product. The product, a specific kind of student, worker and citizen.
SHHEEEESH... Ford didn't invent Fordism, the Ryerson Brothers did.
If you read John Taylor Gatto's books, he'll tell you that public schooling has always been this way. In "Dumbing Us Down" he points out that schools have more to do with learning one's place than learning ones sums.
So, I am very left brainy, in a society of left brainiacs. How am I going to offer my child more balance. How am I going to let her keep connection with her right brain and keep her left brain from taking it all over?
GOSH.... I hope you didn't think I had an answer to that!!!!
I am working on it. I think I have a few ideas...
In watching it I thought, "I am very left brainy".
I remember at a very young age the constant voice in my head telling the story of my life to me, making up games and stories, chattering away as a walked, biked, swung and read. I recognize that voice now when I hear my daughter deep in imaginative play. It is as though her left brain (and my child left brain) offered a voice to the right brain.
But at some point my left brain took over the whole show. It got a dry, sarcastic wit and sometimes my left brain says some mean things.
In fact, sometimes my left brain blathers on as though it is Ferris Bueller. It is almost as though my left brain believes its ongoing monologue is being heard and enjoyed by the masses. Perhaps my left brain is not alone in its narcissistic (see I told you it gets mean) monologuing. Perhaps monologuing left brains is how blogging got so popular.
Something that sticks out to me is that our society has an over dependence on the rational 'serial' thought processes characterized by left brain thinking. Isn't it serial thinking that brought us Ford ism, Modernism and institutionalized everything?
In her book "The Real World of Technology" Ursula Franklin labels 'one size fits all' approaches to problem solving 'prescriptive technologies.' Franklin does not indicate that prescriptive technology is inherently evil, just misapplied in situations that require reflection and involve growth.
In fact, there are two areas very near and dear to my heart that she questions the application of prescriptive technology, pregnancy/birth and education. For these are areas that Ursula (and I ) believe should be approached through 'holistic technologies'.
Yet, schools are designed to teach children in such prescriptive fashions... children are measured and tested and procedures are applied based on the results of the testing. If the procedures are not working, there are meetings with the 'education team'. I think it is worth noting that the child in question is not invited to these meetings. The meetings are a conversation between parents, teacher, social worker and principal. The education team examines the factors and prescribes a mode of 'attacking' the 'problem' presented. The whole process is focused on producing a product. The product, a specific kind of student, worker and citizen.
SHHEEEESH... Ford didn't invent Fordism, the Ryerson Brothers did.
If you read John Taylor Gatto's books, he'll tell you that public schooling has always been this way. In "Dumbing Us Down" he points out that schools have more to do with learning one's place than learning ones sums.
So, I am very left brainy, in a society of left brainiacs. How am I going to offer my child more balance. How am I going to let her keep connection with her right brain and keep her left brain from taking it all over?
GOSH.... I hope you didn't think I had an answer to that!!!!
I am working on it. I think I have a few ideas...
Friday, March 14, 2008
Motherhood and other Invisible Work
Today in the shower I leaned against the wall and birthed my pain.
Too much information?
It is for me. Yet at this time in my life I am inclined to overshare. It seems epidemic--this oversharing-- hence blogging and live jounals. Why the intense desire to share one's private thoughts? Why the voyeurism about our internal journeys? Perhaps we all wish to give a voice to our invisibility.
The universe offers me clues as I undertake my life's journey. Usually it is by repeating the same phrase from different people's mouths over a short period of time. In the past three weeks several people referred to "invisible work" in conversation with me. In each case, the term was used in a different context. However, I heard the universe call to me to explore the invisibility of the work I do.
Mothering (parenting) has become invisible. As a homeschooler I am ever aware of the lack of children in the 'adult' world. Take your 5 year old on the subway on a weekday, particularly at 5 PM and you will see what I mean. Children and childhood have a defined space in our society, and that space is separate from the every day experience of most adults. Most parents only see their children at home, or in child centered (yet adult controlled) spaces such as 'little league'.
When children are seen in the adult world, they are always expected to behave as though they know the ins and outs of the 'grown up' world.
The job of parenting has become outsourced, to daycare, to schools, to television. Yet, for a job that has been outsourced... both parents and children are working hard (apparently harder than ever). Parenting books, classrooms, and daycare centres have lists of accomplishments expected to be achieved on a specific time table. Tests and test scores... Magazine articles outline the educational benefits of play, because play without a goal lacks value. Yet, this work is to be done outside of the eyes of most society, so that when children do make appearances in the "real world" they will act "appropriately." If they do not act appropriately, there is tons of advice to offer the 'mother.'
What do we do when we hide our children from the world and then expect them to emerge as healthy adults and function in it? Firstly, and most tragically, we deny them and ourselves of joyful connection. This is not to say we do not have joyful connection with our children, but to say that the joyful connection of a whole and loving community can be forsaken by living a fragmented life.
Secondly, by hiding the job of child rearing and relegating childhood to specific 'child friendly' spaces, we hide children from the normalcy of life and life of from the normalcy of children.
Lets look at that more closely:
Separating children from normal life means not allowing them to see adults in interaction with each other and them. It means 'protecting' them by managing their play. It means denying them exposure to the politics of the public sphere. It means sterilizing life for them, so that when they actually 'begin to live it' (sarcasm) they will not have the tools to deal with it.
Separating life from normal children results in an expectation that children will have skills that they could not learn without honest interaction with a broader community. A co-op I belong to recently discussed a member's proposal wanting 'adult only' shopping time, because some young children 'do not know how to behave in the store.' The preference would be to discourage parents from shopping with their children.
Perhaps if childhood and parenting had not been made invisible for so many years those members who find children so aberrant would have learned the reality of childhood and recalled their own childhoods. One would hope that awareness would arise from the integration of childhood into 'real' daily life and compassion, connection and understanding would be the result.
The pain I birthed this morning was buried for years. My arose through a process of 'invisible work' in therapy, through reading, through journalling. Most importantly, it became buried because I was a child in an world where childhood is invisible.
Too much information?
It is for me. Yet at this time in my life I am inclined to overshare. It seems epidemic--this oversharing-- hence blogging and live jounals. Why the intense desire to share one's private thoughts? Why the voyeurism about our internal journeys? Perhaps we all wish to give a voice to our invisibility.
The universe offers me clues as I undertake my life's journey. Usually it is by repeating the same phrase from different people's mouths over a short period of time. In the past three weeks several people referred to "invisible work" in conversation with me. In each case, the term was used in a different context. However, I heard the universe call to me to explore the invisibility of the work I do.
Mothering (parenting) has become invisible. As a homeschooler I am ever aware of the lack of children in the 'adult' world. Take your 5 year old on the subway on a weekday, particularly at 5 PM and you will see what I mean. Children and childhood have a defined space in our society, and that space is separate from the every day experience of most adults. Most parents only see their children at home, or in child centered (yet adult controlled) spaces such as 'little league'.
When children are seen in the adult world, they are always expected to behave as though they know the ins and outs of the 'grown up' world.
The job of parenting has become outsourced, to daycare, to schools, to television. Yet, for a job that has been outsourced... both parents and children are working hard (apparently harder than ever). Parenting books, classrooms, and daycare centres have lists of accomplishments expected to be achieved on a specific time table. Tests and test scores... Magazine articles outline the educational benefits of play, because play without a goal lacks value. Yet, this work is to be done outside of the eyes of most society, so that when children do make appearances in the "real world" they will act "appropriately." If they do not act appropriately, there is tons of advice to offer the 'mother.'
What do we do when we hide our children from the world and then expect them to emerge as healthy adults and function in it? Firstly, and most tragically, we deny them and ourselves of joyful connection. This is not to say we do not have joyful connection with our children, but to say that the joyful connection of a whole and loving community can be forsaken by living a fragmented life.
Secondly, by hiding the job of child rearing and relegating childhood to specific 'child friendly' spaces, we hide children from the normalcy of life and life of from the normalcy of children.
Lets look at that more closely:
Separating children from normal life means not allowing them to see adults in interaction with each other and them. It means 'protecting' them by managing their play. It means denying them exposure to the politics of the public sphere. It means sterilizing life for them, so that when they actually 'begin to live it' (sarcasm) they will not have the tools to deal with it.
Separating life from normal children results in an expectation that children will have skills that they could not learn without honest interaction with a broader community. A co-op I belong to recently discussed a member's proposal wanting 'adult only' shopping time, because some young children 'do not know how to behave in the store.' The preference would be to discourage parents from shopping with their children.
Perhaps if childhood and parenting had not been made invisible for so many years those members who find children so aberrant would have learned the reality of childhood and recalled their own childhoods. One would hope that awareness would arise from the integration of childhood into 'real' daily life and compassion, connection and understanding would be the result.
The pain I birthed this morning was buried for years. My arose through a process of 'invisible work' in therapy, through reading, through journalling. Most importantly, it became buried because I was a child in an world where childhood is invisible.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Welcome
Hello and welcome to my blog.
What is it about?
It is about being a mother who is padding after her children as they make their way in the world.
It is about research I began 9 years ago, when I had no children, and how that research has been informed by a visceral connection with my amazing daughters.
My original research was about the power of children's culture to stand in the face of cultural hegemony. My new research isn't research... it is life. And I am immersed in it. I do not stand on the sidelines and observe... nor do I want to . I want to dive into this rich tapestry with the awe, wonder and disdain that my children experience. I want to thumb my nose at the thought that embracing their experience is whimsical folly based in nostalgic decadence. I seek to meet my own needs for enjoyment, connection, peace and integrity.
Originally I had an inkling that the culture of children could subvert the messages of consumerism, class ism, racism, sexism, and a multitude of isms that suck the life from each of us. Was I right? Am I right to mistrust institutions with my children's tender hearts and minds, because they contain within them the seeds to change our society for the better?
By being a mother doing this 'research' I am well aware of the lack of 'academic' distance I have. I know that my views will be subjective. I am my own subject, because I intend to use this blog as a means of documenting the changes that occur within me as I follow my children on their daily journeys.\
The day my oldest child was born (5.5 years ago) I went 'back to school.' The lessons I learn I treasure. There have been tough days and all-nighters. I have crammed for exams and felt totally unprepared despite doing 'my homework'. Through all of it I am so far my harshest critic more so than any prof or teaching assistant. So far my children appear to be happy with my work, but I hear that changes on their 13th birthday.
Never before have I had such dedicated teachers, with endless energy to challenge my every assumption. Time to sharpen my number 2 pencil and get my 'thinking hat' on, because class is in session.
I hope you will join me on my journey.
--Michelle
What is it about?
It is about being a mother who is padding after her children as they make their way in the world.
It is about research I began 9 years ago, when I had no children, and how that research has been informed by a visceral connection with my amazing daughters.
My original research was about the power of children's culture to stand in the face of cultural hegemony. My new research isn't research... it is life. And I am immersed in it. I do not stand on the sidelines and observe... nor do I want to . I want to dive into this rich tapestry with the awe, wonder and disdain that my children experience. I want to thumb my nose at the thought that embracing their experience is whimsical folly based in nostalgic decadence. I seek to meet my own needs for enjoyment, connection, peace and integrity.
Originally I had an inkling that the culture of children could subvert the messages of consumerism, class ism, racism, sexism, and a multitude of isms that suck the life from each of us. Was I right? Am I right to mistrust institutions with my children's tender hearts and minds, because they contain within them the seeds to change our society for the better?
By being a mother doing this 'research' I am well aware of the lack of 'academic' distance I have. I know that my views will be subjective. I am my own subject, because I intend to use this blog as a means of documenting the changes that occur within me as I follow my children on their daily journeys.\
The day my oldest child was born (5.5 years ago) I went 'back to school.' The lessons I learn I treasure. There have been tough days and all-nighters. I have crammed for exams and felt totally unprepared despite doing 'my homework'. Through all of it I am so far my harshest critic more so than any prof or teaching assistant. So far my children appear to be happy with my work, but I hear that changes on their 13th birthday.
Never before have I had such dedicated teachers, with endless energy to challenge my every assumption. Time to sharpen my number 2 pencil and get my 'thinking hat' on, because class is in session.
I hope you will join me on my journey.
--Michelle
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